In Disguises No One Knows

Hi there.

I wrote a mystery novel.

It’s called Tucson ’93.

It involves a mystery and takes place in Tucson during the summer of 1993.

And I’m excited for everyone to get a chance to read it.

This is the Transcript

From 1992 to 1994, Tucson was blessed with not just one alternative newspaper, Tucson Weekly, but a second, less well known publication, Old Pueblo Pages, otherwise known as OPP. While most issues of OPP were quickly discarded, the tri-weekly publication produced some quality journalism. Of particular note were an undercover report exposing that the Tucson Rodeo Parade route formed a pentagram, and a five-part series revealing that many of the players on the Tucson Toros were part of a secret CIA unit causing unrest in Central America.

OPP also had a weekly feature in which they interviewed a member of the community who had a unique job. My friend Mo recently presented me with this recording of one of those interviews, conveniently featuring the protagonist of Tucson ’93, Uri LaFleur.

[Tape recorder clicks on. A voice says, “Test. Test.”]

Old Pueblo Press: Alright, I’m interviewing Uri LaFleur, who recently started his own private investigation business. Before we get into that, let’s learn more about your Tucson connections, Uri.

Uri LaFleur: Is that a question? And I get 20 bucks for doing this, right?

OPP: Yes, you get paid at the end. Were you actually born in Tucson? Where did you go to high school?

UL: Solid. Yeah, I was born at Tucson Medical Center and I went to Rincon, class of ’88. My junior year, our basketball team made it to state.

OPP: So you like basketball. Who was your favorite player on the ’88 Final Four team.

UL: The obvious answer is Sean Elliott, or maybe Steve Kerr. But I was always a big Jud Buechler fan. Loved those Gumbies.

OPP: Inspired choice! Let’s see, after high school, you served in the Army and was sent over to Kuwait. You came back in coma. What was that like?

UL: I don’t want to talk about that.

OPP: But you were in a coma for over a month, surely…

UL: Hey fuckface, I said I didn’t want to talk about it.

OPP: Okay, okay, calm down. How about we talk about being a private investigator. How did you decide on that as a career?

UL: It kind of happened by accident. About six months ago, I ran into my friend Jodi at Park Mall. We hadn’t seen each other in forever. I walked her back to her car, and when we got there, her car was missing. Someone jacked it. While she ran back to find a payphone to call the police, I noticed a shoe print in the oil. The tread reminded me of a pair shoes that nearly implanted in my eyeballs when someone, I’m not going to say who, dunked on me in a rec league game. Anyway, I tracked that guy down and convinced him to give Jodi her car back. She seemed impressed, and it gave me the idea to turn that into a career.

OPP: Any interesting cases right now?

UL: I’m not at liberty to say.

TF: I’ll take that as a no. Moving on, I can’t help but notice that you are wearing a flannel shirt. We don’t see a lot of those in Tucson. What’s up with that?

UL: I guess I just feel kind of out of place here since I came back. I listen to a lot of music, and my favorite bands right now are out of Seattle. I plan on moving out there as soon as I can afford it.

OPP: A music guy, huh? What’s the best concert you’ve seen lately?

UL: I was at Lollapalooza last September. Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Chili Peppers. It was heaven. I made it to the rail, which was epic, except for having to pass all those crowd surfers over my head. And I got a flat tire on I-10 on the ride home.

OPP: What’s your ride?

UL: An ’83 Olds Omega, but I’ve upgraded the stereo system with an Alpine 7618R. Pretty sweet, right? Thankfully, I know a guy who has a cousin who knows another guy whose sister has a table at the Tanque Verde Swap Meet. She hooked me up.

OPP: It’s probably worth more than the car.

UL: You’re really pushing it, buddy. She might not be much to look at, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.

OPP: Kid?

UL: If you know, you know.

OPP I guess I don’t. You have a girlfriend named Elle, right?

UL: Yeah, umm. I’m not sure if she’s officially my girlfriend. I mean, we break up all the time, but I guess today, maybe.

OPP: What does she possibly see in you?

UL: Wait, what? How do you know I have a girlfriend? What does that have to do with this interview?

OPP: You tell me. One last question. Am I really interviewing you, or are you imagining this?

UL: What do you mean?

OPP: You’ve been seeing things lately, haven’t you? How do you know that I’m even here? Are you interviewing yourself, right now?

UL: What? What are you talking about? Ask me another question.

OPP: Okay, what happened in Kuwait? How did you end up in a Coma?

UL: I told you not to…

[Something in the background crashes and the tape recorder is turned off.]

***

As always, thanks for reading, and if you haven’t, please sign up for my newsletter.

See you on the flipside.

-BV